Deer in Headlights!

Its almost midnight. The excitement of the day has died down. The room is dark and everyone is sleeping. I lay awake. Its raining outside, and I am sitting inside my room, hearing probably the last raindrops falling on my porch. I don't know when I would be hearing them again.
Its freakishly quiet!
I feel scared and lost somewhere between the feelings of loneliness and homesick already, and a sense of heart breaking loss for all that I would be losing once I get on that flight.Its hardly fair on my part to be thinking of things like this now, three days before I leave, but honestly, I was prepared for a lot of things, I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't prepared for this overwhelming mammoth size lump in my throat every time I try opening my mouth to speak. I spent all my time weighing opportunities and returns, and didn't realise that I would soon start rationing my time for my loves ones, not to mention, wont be seeing some ever. It hit me like a deer on the highway!
Does everyone feel like that? Is it a phase? or am I really leaving something behind which is worth staying back for? There are so many answers missing. I don't know if they will come or not. Tonight, my only prayer is to give me strength, and the wisdom to realise the bigger picture! See me through God!!

Yours truly,
'The-half-filled-glass!'