Monday, August 1, 2011

Deer in Headlights!

Its almost midnight. The excitement of the day has died down. The room is dark and everyone is sleeping. I lay awake. Its raining outside, and I am sitting inside my room, hearing probably the last raindrops falling on my porch. I don't know when I would be hearing them again.
Its freakishly quiet!
I feel scared and lost somewhere between the feelings of loneliness and homesick already, and a sense of heart breaking loss for all that I would be losing once I get on that flight.Its hardly fair on my part to be thinking of things like this now, three days before I leave, but honestly, I was prepared for a lot of things, I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't prepared for this overwhelming mammoth size lump in my throat every time I try opening my mouth to speak. I spent all my time weighing opportunities and returns, and didn't realise that I would soon start rationing my time for my loves ones, not to mention, wont be seeing some ever. It hit me like a deer on the highway!
Does everyone feel like that? Is it a phase? or am I really leaving something behind which is worth staying back for? There are so many answers missing. I don't know if they will come or not. Tonight, my only prayer is to give me strength, and the wisdom to realise the bigger picture! See me through God!!

Yours truly,

Thursday, June 30, 2011

A New Chapter...

Yesterday was the last day of office... won't be seeing a paycheck for a long time now. And that statement heralds a new chapter in my ever changing lifescape. Montreal...
Montreal, a year ago was much more than a few thousand miles away. If someone would have told me I would be moving to Montreal, I would have laughed shamelessly at his/her face. Yeah Right!! Life is interesting, ain't it!! Funny thing is Montreal is still more than a few thousand miles away. Its dozens of friends, home cooked food, and loads of doting family members away. Heck sometimes I feel I will miss the crazy Delhi traffic and the lousy saas bahu serials too there. But yeah I could live with that I guess. :)
My family seems more than supportive of my aspirations!! (Kudos to them!!) I mean there are moments when I get jittery of being so far away and my mom says "Internet hai na!!" We can chat away to glory. Some brave parents I have!
Its an unbelievable feeling, watching your far fetched dream getting realised, so tangibly. I do pinch myself sometimes. What has made it more overwhelming is that I have found incredible friends, rocking in the same boat. So safe to say, I will be taken care of.
So my journey begins, yet again. Hope to discover more and keep surprising myself every now then.

Grinning with glee,

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Subconscience... or not!!!

Maybe there is a subconscience after all, maybe it only comes alive when you are not consious enough to know better, maybe I am drunk when I am writing this, but the truth that I see right now is that things and events become relatively clearer( for lack of a better word) when you are more in touch with your sub-conscience, aka when you are drunk.... Events seem to explain more... things seem to start making more sense... and theories of what is, what was and what is to be start making a tad more sense!

Its wierd but so true, fellow happy drinkers would like to agree with me, a lot of hypotheses and logics suddenly start making sense under the influence of something greater? weaker? (I can't really be a judge of that) but 'intoxication' as one might like to call it.

It's sad that it is so. I don't know why it came over me to try and write this right now. I just felt like so I gave it effect. Hope to make more sense when I can.

Youre truly,
'Yhe half filled glass'